What is the collective noun for builders?

 After a week of teeing up builders to come by and visit Rita, we spend a freezing weekend running through the initial build plans with three sets of builders and a damp-proofing specialist in a merry go round style. What's the collective noun for builders? I reckon it's "a crack of builders", yes?

We are asking all the builders for quotes on gutting the house - removing all the partition walls from the various rooms, getting rid of the plaster board, floor coverings, the loos and showers, the cooking points, the wood panelling, and the piping. Everything. I still can't get over how much crap the vendor left in the house even when he said it would be left empty. We've managed to sell a bar fridge on eBay as well as a chest of drawers over the week, so that's something at least. 

The sauna effect in the loft. As lovely as it is, I think we'll get rid of it.

Our very own fold down bed.
Richard suggested getting another  so we could just have them side by side.

The first guys who come round come recommended by Ben our architect. They are keen to get their electrician and plumber round to also survey the work. They are a small partnership of three builders  who do all the work themselves and are keen to tell us that they don't put a premium on any of the contracted services that they get in. I feel confident that they would be able to get the work done and would do a good job, when he mentions that he is just finishing some work for Ben himself.

The second builder  heads up a large building company in Oxfordshire. It's obvious as soon as he turns up that he's the top banana and probably doing little labouring himself, but that business is doing well. Nice Audi station wagon, some lovely threads, and hair that reminds me of Hugh Grant in the late 90s. He asks for a cappuccino when I offer to run up the street to grab us coffees because the house is so freaking cold without any heating on. He's a nice guy and clearly with the size of firm he can get cracking (there's that word again) quickly. He helpfully gives us a rough idea of the quote while he's there - but I'm most impressed that he gives us a figure for how much we might get back for the copper piping and how we can dispose of the wood in an environmentally friendly way that will keep the costs down. The first builders had asked whether we thought the neighbours would be annoyed if they built a bonfire in the backyard to burn the rubbish. I am sure they were joking. 

All the builders have laughed at the dodgy cutout for the boiler. That's craftsmanship.

Our third set of builders come round just as Builder no2 is leaving. They are good guys who did work for us at our old place. There's a funny moment when they ask us whether Builder no2 is the architect. It tell them who it was - after all, it's good for people to know if they are bidding against someone else - and they remark on how nice his shoes were.  When Richard mentions that he's "dying to see what's behind the built in fireplace" in the front bedroom on the ground floor, one of them asks "How much? Shall I get the crowbar?" and starts pulling at the fireplace. And voila! Lovely Victorian fireplace discovered!

Look what we found!

Needs a bit of TLC

That discovery makes our weekend. 

Finally, a visit from the damp-proofing specialist who tells us that we really need to "tank" the whole of the basement floor. It all sounds very sensible - and very expensive. He also chucks a great big spanner into our build programme. We'd assumed that we would do the damp proofing first and then everything follows after that. But with the idea of extending the basement and then integrating it to the sitting room with stairs, he tells us that the tanking needs to happen some way down the line. More thought required on that then. 

The basement flat

We also then have a chat about dogs and walking in the countryside, and he helpfully tells me that all Travelodges accept pets. Nice tip.